Emotional Support, Stupor, and How Not to Burn Out: Let's Talk About Podcast

Psychologist Tetyana Rudenko draws an important distinction between two concepts that are often confused: psychological first aid and emotional support.

Psychological first aid is provided immediately after a traumatic event—a missile strike, devastating news, or another crisis. Emotional support, by contrast, is a longer-term process. It is needed by people who continue to live with grief for months or even years.

"A person experiences grief differently on the ninth day after losing a loved one, on the fortieth day, and one year later. Each stage is different, and each requires someone to be present," explains Tetyana Rudenko.

In the second episode of the Let's Talk About podcast on the Eleos-Ukraine YouTube channel, Father Mykhailo Omelyan and psychologist Tetyana Rudenko discuss the difference between psychological first aid and long-term emotional support, trauma-informed communication, and how those who help others can protect themselves from burnout.

"Today, many Ukrainians are living with profound loss and pain. Different emotions emerge at different times. Sometimes a single trigger is enough to bring everything back," says the psychologist.

That is why trauma-informed communication is so important. It begins with understanding that the people around us — in public transport, in a store, or in church—may be carrying invisible wounds. The depth of that pain should shape how we speak to them and respond to them.

When a Person "Freezes": How to Respond to Stupor

When someone stands motionless after a traumatic event, does not respond, or stares blankly through the person speaking to them, they may be experiencing stupor—an extreme protective response of the nervous system. In such moments, the brain temporarily shuts down because it cannot process what has happened.

The first step is to ensure the person's physical safety. Only then should you approach and speak to them. What you say is less important than the fact that you are using your voice to reconnect them with their surroundings.

If there is still no response, gentle physical contact may help, while continuing to ask simple factual questions:

What is your name? Where do you live? Who was with you?

"We ask simple factual questions because they help reactivate the part of the brain that has temporarily shut down. First comes physical safety, then everything else," Tetyana Rudenko explains.

A Story from the Hospital

Father Mykhailo recalls visiting a woman with terminal cancer while serving abroad. Before entering her room, a doctor quietly told him she had only seven days left to live.

Rather than speaking about death, Father Mykhailo chose to speak about life.

They spent two hours praying and talking. After returning to Ukraine, he continued calling her every day, offering simple conversations and a sense of presence from afar.

She lived for another month.

"Sometimes you think you have said only very simple words. Yet for another person, those words can change the course of their entire life," Father Mykhailo reflects.

How Those Who Help Others Can Avoid Burnout

Burnout remains one of the greatest challenges for people in helping professions.

"People often tell me, 'How can I think about myself when others need help?' But I am not the Lord God. I am simply a person who can only do what is within my capacity," says Tetyana Rudenko.

If you are not getting enough sleep, restoring healthy sleep should become a priority. If you find yourself unable to carry other people's emotions any longer, it is a sign to pause. The fundamental principle remains the same: do no harm.

Psychologists rely on peer consultation, clinical supervision, and personal therapy. For Father Mykhailo, the source of renewal is the Divine Liturgy.

"Every morning, the Liturgy transforms and strengthens me. You ask God to give you the right words — and they come. Simple words that can bring hope and restore a person's will to live," he says.

The project "Clergy and Communities in Support of Mental Health: Innovative Support Practices During the War in Ukraine" is implemented by Eleos-Ukraine in partnership with DanChurchAid and Norwegian Church Aid in Ukraine, with financial support from the Government of Norway (NORAD), in cooperation with the Kyiv and Lviv Orthodox Theological Academies.