"Is It Okay Not to Be Okay?": A Priest and a Psychologist Discuss Burnout and Resilience Among Clergy
The eighth episode of the Let's Talk About podcast turns the spotlight on those who spend their lives caring for others: priests. What happens when clergy absorb other people's pain day after day while neglecting their own emotional well-being? In this conversation, Father Mykhailo Omelyan and Ella Sokolyuk, a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and trainer, explore self-care as an essential part of sustainable ministry — not a luxury, but a necessity.
A Lifetime of Human Experience in a Single Day
Father Mykhailo describes a typical day in a priest's life. It begins with the Divine Liturgy, often celebrated without food or water, followed by memorial services, baptisms, and weddings. The afternoon may include hospital visits and home visits, ending with evening services. Throughout it all, a priest is expected to remain fully present, attentive, compassionate, and spiritually grounded.
"In many ways, a priest lives an entire human lifetime in a single day. A wedding, hardship, death — all of it passes through one person, who must process these experiences while remaining connected to God, to himself, and to those he serves."
Why Clergy Burn Out
According to studies conducted in France, the United States, and the United Kingdom following the Second World War, burnout among priests and chaplains during times of crisis is 30–40% higher than in most other helping professions.
Ella Sokolyuk explains that clergy experience stress through four distinct pathways.
1. Secondary Exposure to Trauma
Through confessions and pastoral conversations, priests may hear 10 to 15 deeply traumatic stories every day.
"Although they are not direct participants in these events, they often experience them emotionally alongside the people who share them."
2. Vicarious Trauma
Listening to others' suffering day after day inevitably affects the listener.
Constant exposure to grief, loss, and trauma gradually accumulates and takes its toll.
3. Carrying People's Questions About God
Clergy are often expected to hold hope for others, even when those around them are angry with God or questioning their faith.
At the same time, priests continue to wrestle with their own doubts and emotions.
4. Emotional Whiplash
The rapid transitions between life's most significant moments place an enormous burden on the nervous system.
"In the morning, you conduct the funeral of a fallen soldier. In the afternoon, you celebrate a baptism. The next day begins with a wedding and ends with another funeral. Constantly moving between profound joy and profound grief is itself a significant source of stress."
Green, Yellow, Red
Ella Sokolyuk believes that effective self-care begins with understanding how stress affects the body.
"If we don't understand what stress is and how it impacts us, then every piece of advice simply becomes another note in a notebook that no one ever uses."
During the training, participants learn to recognize three emotional zones:
- Green — emotionally balanced, with sufficient energy and resources;
- Yellow — increased tension and mobilization, signalling the need for rest and recovery;
- Red — emotional exhaustion and burnout.
Rather than focusing on dramatic lifestyle changes, Ella encourages clergy to develop simple daily rituals that help separate ministry from personal life.
These may include changing clothes after the liturgy, pausing for five quiet minutes before entering the house, or washing one's hands as a symbolic transition.
"These small rituals help us avoid bringing the emotional weight of ministry home. They allow us to move from one role to another with greater awareness."
Ella concludes with an important reminder:
"Stress is a normal response to an abnormal situation. We are living in abnormal circumstances. The fact that we can sit here, talk about difficult topics with compassion and hope, means that we have managed to remain emotionally grounded in a world that is anything but normal. But this is only possible if we learn to balance caring for ourselves with caring for others."
Watch the eighth episode of the Let's Talk About podcast on the Eleos-Ukraine YouTube channel.
The project "Clergy and Communities in Support of Mental Health: Innovative Support Practices During the War in Ukraine" is implemented by Eleos-Ukraine in partnership with DanChurchAid and Norwegian Church Aid in Ukraine, with financial support from the Government of Norway (NORAD).